LOSING YOU

Its scary how sometimes we never know what is coming next…i waited, i fasted and i prayed, at some point i even gave up cause i felt it was not just meant for me. After two failed attempts, i decided to just let go.

We never used to be friends back in high school, but then i knew who you were, i just never thought i would meet you again, I recall the day it was pouring heavily on my way back from work and lo and behold there you were trying to help me out by taking me home, honestly i did not mind you initially cause all i had in heart was “This is just one of them” …i was defensive.

Fast forward to a month later you are on my case asking for a chance but due to my lack of distrust in people of your species, i found it extremely difficult to trust you and do those little things you asked of me (had i known)!!!

You made me let my guard down and you changed  my life..i remember our first kiss, it was magical,i never felt anything like that before… you were extremely shy to even hold my hands at the movie theater, i gave you my hands and it felt like victory to you lol..

I loved everything about you, i loved the way you made me feel, i loved me when i was with you…you broke me lose and free from guilt and fear of ever loving anyone again. I was happy for you after you got your first big job, it was not an easy journey but we were together and that was enough for me..we had something rare.

I remember how one day i called you in the morning and i prayed for you..you were surprised cause it was a new thing but then it became an everyday routine and trust me those were the most beautiful mornings of my life.

On that fateful day when you took me to one of my favorite places ***the ice cream shop*** lol, you knew i could never say no even if i was mad at you but damn you hardly even made me mad…you got a cake for me and there was a card beside it with the words were “I will make you happy for the rest of your life,please be my forever” I could not contain the joy i felt that day, you were different and that was what i loved about you.

Baby i loved the air that you breathe, when people say they do not believe in love, i just smile and show them YOU cause you my love are a definition of what love is and what every man should be. Can i ever forget the day you took me to the beach just behind the Hard Rock Cafe and you got a band and played my favorite song which you sang yourself….my life was complete and i knew you felt the same way.

We had just 3 weeks to the big day, i was as excited as any one who had won a jackpot would be…preparations were going well but ifemi all of a sudden you said you had to travel for a business meeting, i had a  bad feeling about it, i begged you to stay but you said i should not worry and that you would be back in time…baby you left and i felt so uneasy…why did you have to leave?? i woke up that evening to your call telling me you arrived safely, i was glad and the next day i got a call from a different number and baby you know how i do not pick strange calls but then something triggered in me and i did pick it and lo and behold i was told you were involved in a ghastly accident as the vehicle you were in collided with a truck and you could not make it. I could not believe my ears, i felt like i was dreaming or were my ears deceiving me??? My husband?? DEAD??

Life has never been the same since you left me, i quit my job and had to start something else ..sometimes i hate you for even coming into my life in the first place, for making me love you but then other times i am grateful that i felt loved at some point in my life….but then i wonder, where will i start from….who will i pray with???? Its been a year since you left and i still feel dead, my life on a stand still, people asking me to move on and get over you but how do i do that?…can i ever be as happy as i was with you?? I want to be with you in heaven  but i know that is not what you want for me…I am trying to live my life as i see it, step by step, day by day.

You will always remain in my heart my LOVE..

From…………

One thought on “LOSING YOU

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s