Regrets

My marriage wasn’t the way it used to be and my conversation with kamsy made me realize he didn’t value me as his wife and so i made a decision to give him space. I  called my mum and told her i was coming home for a week. I was able to convince her that kamsy supported my decision and i packed my bags for my trip. The next day, i told my husband kamsy about my trip.

“I listened to everything you said two nights ago and i have come to a conclusion that we probably need to give each other some space. I will be going to my parents house for some time” I said.

Kamsy shook his “you should be ashamed of yourself Ogo. In fact when they call wome to stand up, you should hide your face in shame. So you cannot take care of your family and deal with your problems, you would rather run away?

I sat quietly while you heaped insults on me, i have been enduring your backlash but  i will not take it anymore. You said my presence causes you sorrow and now i am willing to give you space and take the time apart to pray for us.

Kamsy shouted, “I don’t need your freaking prayers woman. In fact, that your prayer will not be answered cause you don’t know the right thing to do. Stop praying for me and start satisfying me.

I replied, “The other day, i bought sexy lingerie and waited for you at home, didn’t you leave me hanging? You are confused kamsy and you don’t know what you want”.

You want to go? Fine, get the hell out of my house and just know that you might not meet this marriage when you come back, get out.

Like i said, I will take the time a to pray for us and hope that God will sustain us. I told him emphatically.

He just shook his head and closed his eyes while lying on the couch, effectively ending the conversation.I packed my bags and headed straight to the airport.

Late in the night that day, while i sat in my parent’s sitting room, my mum was trying  to get stories out of me…..so why didn’t kamsy take a break with you madam?

Mum, he is busy with work, that’s the same thing i told dad before.

“That doesn’t mean he should not spend a weekend with us and see his in-laws, it has been long”

“At least that’s why am here, once you have seen me, you have seen two of us” I said laughing.

Okay but Ogochukwu how is marriage life? I hope you are being  submissive and taking care of your husband well enough….

Mummy, did he complain to you? I am trying my best.

“Why are you getting defensive? Is everything okay? I hope this delay in pregnancy isn’t putting you under pressure?

“No mum, we are fine with it. Everything is okay”

“There is no cause for alarm yet, it took 3years before I gave birth to your elder brother so just be hopeful.

“I know mum….”

The hard knock on the door startled us.

“Mum are you expecting someone this late? Its 12pm already.

“No i am not but it could be our neighbors, go and open the door.

As i got close to open the door to open it, i was suddenly knocked off my feet by the force of it being jacked open. My eyes went open as i saw them, three in number with fully loaded arms, i closed my eyes shut and began to pray.

One of them dragged me by my hair , my eyes flipped open and i was dragged into the room where the other two had my mum and dad.

Five days later, i woke up once again with screams as has been the practice since that horrible night. My dad immediately ran to my room and tried soothing me as tears rolled down my face.

“Its okay ogo.you’re fine and safe, Daddy is here”

“Daddy, i am afraid, kamsy has not come.

I know he hasn’t, i’ll still keep on calling him, just try and get stronger first okay?

As my dad eventually left me alone in the room with my thoughts, i recalled that evil night as clear as the day. I remember my dad being dragged and asked to give them money, i remember the exhaustive search for money which proved abortive as my dad and mum had only #50,000 and i recall adding the #20,000 i had in my bag. As soon as i gave him the money,he looked at me and really looked at me and i knew what was on his mind, i could see it vividly in his eyes.

I began begging, ” Please, i am a married woman, i beg you”

“So what are you doing in daddys house fine girl, your husband is not servicing you well abi? i will help his matter. He needs help..

I begged, my dad and mum begged and his only response was because of their begging, he wouldn’t allow them watch. I fought as  hard as i could but it only resulted into more slaps and punches, he finally had the other man hold me down, i was numb, all through as he kept thrusting faster than i could ever imagine, i thought of kamsy and how much pain this was going to cause him. I remember him warning me not to make this trip, he kept going on and on for about 30minutes before he finally let go. Funny how he had the decency to use a condom. I was broken, i had no strength left and for the first time in my life, i began to question my christian faith.

It has been 5days since my nightmare, 5days since my dad informed kamsy about the incident, three days since i returned back from the hospital and he still hasn’t shown up…I have no more will left to live another day…..To be continued

 

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This is based on a true life story and it happens in many homes. its normal to have issues with your husband or wife, its normal to quarrel and say things we don’t mean. but running away has never solved any issue, running has never brought peace. i believe in true love and i also believe in breaking every barrier for it to work out,i always tell people, if you want your marriage to work, never doubt the ability of communication cause to me, that is key. i would say, “face your fears and overcome them”.

 

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